I used to think that it was sort of weird that I wanted to by by myself, seemingly often. Others did not appear to have the same need. They were perfectly content being around others all of the time. In fact, many of them were actually uncomfortable with being alone. As an empath, that was never the case for me.
When I was younger, I had extreme social anxiety . I was overwhelmed being around groups of people, so much so, that I would sit in class trying to be still, in order to not draw attention to myself.
I was terrified to go into a store by myself because I hated attention.
In hindsight, I pushed against it so much I may as well have worn a sign saying “Pay me attention!”
Anyway, I would be able to tell what others were feeling towards me or in general, with no explanation as to why. If someone was upset, especially someone that was close to me, I could feel their pain as if it was mine. I could always tell when someone was lying.
I thought these things were common, and that everyone felt like this and could read others emotions to a degree. Turns out, not so much.
Spending Time Alone
It took me a long time to figure out that I am an empath or even believe that was or could be a serious thing. The head-space that I was in at the time, just caused me to believe that I was just somehow different than everyone else. I had always felt that way.
Meditation and taking time for myself literally changed everything for me.
I started to realize that being alone was necessary for me to recognize/recharge my energy. Since I was always picking up the energy of the people who were around me, I needed to spend time being able to FEEL my own energy. I needed to be able to distinguish myself from others.
When you’re an empath, you need to learn to ground yourself, in yourself.
I would suggest spending some time doing things alone, such as meditating. Meditation has definitely changed my ability to perceive and interact with the world.
Once I started meditating it was so much easier for me to be around people and remain stable in my own energy. It also gave me self-confidence, and an overwhelming sense of knowing EXACTLY who I am. Before that, I was just seemingly wondering around on autopilot absorbing every thought and feeling.
Identifying Your Energy
Once you can identify your own energy, you won’t just automatically get sucked into others. That was one of the biggest problems I had being an empath, feeling everyone else’s energy without being grounded in my own. It causes this sort of foggy confusion around others, especially groups of others.
I used to think that being an empath was a curse. Why does this hurt so much? “They” don’t seem to be crushed by the mere thought of disappointing someone they love, or hurting someone else.
“They” don’t seem to feel things that hurt them so deeply that they almost cannot breathe. What did I do to deserve feeling like this?
“Don’t be so Sensitive”
When I was like 7 or 8, I remember being in the cafeteria at school and sitting by a girl who wanted to trade lunches with me. At the time I KNEW we didn’t really have money. The thought of trading with someone else felt like some sort of betrayal to my mother. The feeling was so intense, I still remember it.
Anyone else would have just traded the fucking sandwich and never thought about it again.
People who feel everything intensely look at it as being a burden, and I’m willing to bet that many people who are suffering from drug addictions and maybe even OCD are also empathic to some degree.
It turns out being an empath only feels like a curse if it is left at the point of aimlessly absorbing others emotions and entertaining unguided, unfocused thoughts. It doesn’t have to be just a constant state of feeling bad. Many people get stuck at that point.
Empaths NEED to grow and allow space to get to know themselves and their energy. Otherwise, we seem to do many things trying not to feel so bad.
For an empath, growth is necessary. Get to know yourself and your energy and then work on making it dominant.
Make sure you don’t go to extremes under the guise of protecting your energy. For example, becoming so concerned with not allowing others to effect your emotions with theirs, that you block them out completely.
That is resisting and will also feel bad. Feel whatever you need to and then just allow it to pass.
It’s a balancing act. Once you can balance yourself, being an empath is a superpower…
You KNOW when something is off
When something doesn’t feel right, you KNOW and can be pro-active instead of reactive.
Feeling things intensely can cause you to feel greater lows, but takes you to greater highs
It is my experience, that the lower you go, the higher you can spring. Sort of like a rubber band, the harder you pull it back the farther it goes. People who do not have the capacity to feel so sad, also do not have the capacity to feel as happy.
You are likely very creative
Emotions = energy. Strong emotion = Strong Energy. When you have strong emotions, you have the ability to channel that energy many ways.
That means you have access to great creativity. Create something new. It will feel very satisfying.
You cannot be lied to
No matter how hard someone tries to lie to you, you KNOW that they are lying, regardless of the situation. Empaths are human lie detectors.
People lie all of the time, for many different reasons. In most situations try not to point and yell “You’re lying!” Ruins the conversation.
Embrace your uniqueness and ability to feel the world like no one else and you will begin the process of self-growth, accepting and loving yourself. All of which will make you feel a joyful freedom that nothing else will EVER compare to.
For resources on being an empath, visit the Resources Page